Dear Diary, Hello Gorgeous

Dear Diary,
Oh my good lord guess what! Today Mr. Dimmelkanops took me to get my hair cut! And it wasn't like when I get my hair cut at Magnolia Woods where Erma Mae gets out the kitchen scissors and cuts off my hair at my shoulders. This was a bonafide hairdresser. I bet you didn't even know I knew that word, bonafide. Sister Kate taught it to me today when I told her I liked this place. She said "Yes, my dear Bella(It really annoys me when she doesn't call me by my full name), this is a bonafide residence for children whom are less fortunate than others." I didn't really understand that so then she said, "A bonafide orphan home--we get are cost covered by the government" I still didn't understand her so I asked what bonafried meant and she said, "B-O-N-A-F-I-D-E. Bonafide, real." Well I just thought that was the stupidest word in the world. I mean I ain't a plastic doll am I? Of course this place is bonafide, we're eatin, breathin boys and girls.

Anyways, Erma Mae is most certainly not a bonafide hairdresser. She always leaves my hair all snaggedy and uneven at the ends. The hairdresser I went to, Candy Westin, looked like her name. Her hair was a poofy mound of teased blond hair and she had purple and green eyeshadow on and yellow nails to match her blue and yellow top against her navy trouser pants. At first I thought she was tall, but it turns out she was just wearin these like steps on her feet, these great hot pink shoes with little pointy heels that pinched her toes into a triangular point.

It looked painful but she said they were her most comfortable pair. And then she began to cut my long mouse brown hair that looked like tangled yarn. When she was finished I looked so good. It was short, she called it a bob, but it rounded it out my skinny cheeks and made my greens eyes pop like the stuff all the girls at Magnolia Woods drink on New Years.

Before Mr. Dimmelkanops drove me back to the orphanage, Candy took out this sticky pink stuff and put it on my lips and made me look pretty. I quite liked lookin in the mirror. That is till Mr. Dimmelkanops said we had to get back before Dinner. Oh ma good lord dinner is always get in the way of my good times.

Dinner was disgusting. Dinner was not bonafide. Dinner was the same nasty meat I've had since I've been here, and that's been a whole week! But that's okay, I have a friend now, her name is Lulu Begopsy, and after dinner Lulu and I like to sit sorta by the TV but not really close enough to watch it, and make up little stories as we color people and animals with crayons.

Don't worry, Diary, you're still my best friend. But I sure am glad to have Lulu. Well, Lulu's done using the bathroom so we're gonna go sit sorta by the TV. Bye Diary!

Truly,
Bellaray Dave